Question: If someone told a guy named bob, (who was almost late for school) , " you're just in time", what was bob's reponse?
Answer: No, actually my name is Bob.
Question: who can jump higher than the highest mountain
Answer: we can cause mountains cant jump
Question: a guy walks into a bar and drinks a glass of water but he doesen't want to why did he drink the water?
Answer: he had the hicupps
Question: What goes up, takes flight, but never leaves the ground.
Answer: An airplane that a little kid lifted off of his table, but technically it isn't off the ground because the kid is standing on the ground.
Question: Every day, a man wakes up, turns the light off, brushes his teeth, goes downstairs, reads the news paper, and goes to work.
Then the man comes home, turns the light on then brushes his teeth and goes to bed.
But on this day the man wakes up turns the light off, brushes his teeth, goes downstairs, reads the news paper and goes to work, but when the man gets home he forgets to turn the light on, brushes his teeth and goes to bed...
The next morning the man brushes his teeth goes downstairs, reads the news paper and the kills himself....
Why?
Then the man comes home, turns the light on then brushes his teeth and goes to bed.
But on this day the man wakes up turns the light off, brushes his teeth, goes downstairs, reads the news paper and goes to work, but when the man gets home he forgets to turn the light on, brushes his teeth and goes to bed...
The next morning the man brushes his teeth goes downstairs, reads the news paper and the kills himself....
Why?
Answer: The man lives in a Light House.....
And when he reads the news paper and see's that the light on the light house wasnt turned on that night, and all of the boats crashed into the harbor... Therefore he held himself responsible.
And when he reads the news paper and see's that the light on the light house wasnt turned on that night, and all of the boats crashed into the harbor... Therefore he held himself responsible.
Question: What driver doesn't have a license?
Answer: screw Driver
Question: Jerry went out to the hardware store to buy some needed supplies. He spent half of what he had plus $2.00 in the first store; half of what he had left plus $1.00 in the second store; half of what he had left plus $1.00 in the third store; and in the last store , half of all he had. Three dollars were left over. How much money did he start with
Answer: 64.00 dollars
Question: A plane crashed on the boarder of Mexico and the United States. Where would you bury the survivors?
Answer: You wouldn't bury the survivors their alive
Question: You are locked in a room. There is no doors and no windows. In the room there is a candle, a talbe, and a mirror. How do you get out?
Answer: You look in the mirror, you see what you saw. You take the saw, cut the table in half. Two halves make a hole and you crawl out through the hole.
Question: The characters in this riddle are a bottle of shining cream that would turn to metal, a president of the chess club, a bald guy with a beard, and a pistol with one bullet left. Each character would be used, but the president will die. How is that so?
Answer: The bald guy spreads the cream on his beard, and the president aims his gun at the guy. He shoots and then the bullet deflects off of the beard and shoots elsewhere. The president died of sheer amazement.
