# Phil Jones

Riddle Count: 141
Riddle: If someone were to write a biography about us, the following could be reported: #1 - Some people claim we can cure hiccups. #2 - If you are down and a little blue, you might be experiencing me. #3 - The four of us are hidden from view and are waiting for you --- underneath your car. #4 - E.C.T., not etc., has this frightening therapeutic nickname. #5 - Not trying to sound corny, but we are often seen at farmer's markets, roadside stands, and garden centers, especially in the Fall. Based on the biographical information above --- Who/what are we?
Answer: We are shock/shocks.
Riddle: We first appeared outside in the early 1940s during World War II. Our construction was a simple mixture of glass and aluminum, with a flexible entrance that kept out unwanted intrusions. We were not migratory and never slept -- even at nighttime. The famous movie director, Alfred Hitchcock, once used one of us in his movie "The Birds" back in 1963, which resulted in some shattered glass. A famous "lady" once described us as being, "like a lighthouse on the highway", as we were easily seen at nighttime. In the year 2000, there were more than two million of us in existence, but as of 2020, our numbers have quickly declined, and there are now fewer than 100,000 of us remaining in the United States. We were greatly honored in 2015 when someone nominated us for inclusion into the National Register of Historic Places in the state of Arkansas. Who/what are we?
Answer: We are telephone booths.
Riddle: Hidden in the poem below, a manly name you'll seek; just read and listen to the rhyme, but please, don't take a week! MYSTERY POEM: I do not mind addition; I'll tolerate subtraction; but try not to increase my stress, by tossing in those fractions. I'll multiply and then divide, and figure out those sums; but modern math --- the math you use, just makes me want some Tums. What is the man's name you hear in the rhyme?
Answer: The name you'll hear is MATTHEW.
Riddle: One day, a famous king and a famous queen each moved to the same small, rural town, and each built their own house there. The king and the queen were not married, but they were related. The report was they were not very fond of one another, despite being related, and in fact, were both well-known for having highly competitive natures. Both the king and the queen sent out invitations to the townspeople to visit their new houses, each secretly hoping the people would come only to see them, and not the other. On the given day, residents of the town lined up outside both the king's and the queen's new houses; but the people showed no outward signs of respect by bowing or curtsying to either of them. In return, the king presented a stone-faced appearance to his visitors, while the queen offered a cold and frosty reception to everyone who entered her place. To top things off, both the king and the queen both provided food and drink to all the people who came to visit them, but the townspeople were all made to pay for everything they ate and drank that day. However, the people all left both houses that day --- satisfied and happy!!! Why did the people show no outward signs of respect to the famous king and queen, and why weren't the townspeople upset and angry about being invited, and then having to pay for their meals?
Answer: The famous king and the famous queen were: The Burger King and The Dairy Queen. Both had just built new franchises in the small town, and each was hoping to gather the most new customers from the townspeople who lived there. Neither franchise was about to give free food away to everyone, so all the people bought their burgers, fries, and ice cream treats at one or the other, and all were happy to have both of these fast-food options available to them in their community.
Riddle: A certain man who is called "Captain" by his crew, is infamously known for his hatred of a particular group of young boys. He especially dislikes the leader of this group of children, to the extent he would actually kill him if given the chance. This man is neither a basketball player, nor a boxer, nor a fisherman, as his name suggests, but he is the "captain" of a ship called the Sea Devil which flies a black and white flag. This man sails on his ship with his own group of grown men who are a scurvy bunch who enjoy criminal activities. Although he presents himself as being fearless, there is one thing that sends him into a frightened panic -- the sound of a ticking clock! Who is this infamous man, and why haven’t the authorities arrested or imprisoned him and his evil crew?
Answer: The infamous man is Captain Hook, the arch-enemy of Peter Pan and the lost boys. He fears the loud ticking of a clock which a monstrous crocodile swallowed at some point before Peter Pan cut off the captain’s hand during battle, and fed the hand to the beast. The clock now resides in the crocodile’s stomach, and the ticking warns Captain Hook of the creature’s presence, as the crocodile wants to eat the rest of the tasty captain.
Riddle: A young, aspiring musician who lived on a farm, had been given the task of monitoring the family’s livestock. The young lad was supposed to see to it that the cows and sheep stayed together as they had been trained to do, but unfortunately, as youngsters often do, he allowed himself to drift off and fall asleep beneath a pile of animal fodder, and as a result, the cows wandered into a field of corn, while the sheep made their way into a grassy meadow. Can you identify this irresponsible youth?
Answer: Little Boy Blue.
Riddle: A young woman owns two horses, a plane, a gun, a tape with many markings, and a machine with sharp teeth which she uses almost every day. She does not use any of these for transportation or for self-defense (although the gun is loaded), but she does rely on all of these items to meet her financial needs. What does this young woman do for a living, and why does she need this strange assortment of objects?
Answer: The young woman is a carpenter. She uses her two sawhorses, her carpenter’s plane, her nail gun, her tape measure, and her circular saw almost every day as she works to earn a living.
Riddle: A rookie, professional football player who had just joined his new team from the college ranks, came off the practice field and told his coach in a shaky, fear-filled voice that he repeatedly heard a man's voice inside his head speaking out commands for him to follow. The player then asked the coach, "Do you think I am a schizophrenic?" "No," replied the coach. "I think you are an idiot." Why was the coach so rude and unsympathetic when responding to the mental health concerns of the young player; and what position had he been recruited to fill on the team?
Answer: The young player was a rookie quarterback drafted by this pro team. In professional football, quarterbacks wear helmets with speakers built into them, so the coach can tell them what plays to run. In college football, where this young player had played quarterback, helmets are not allowed to contain speakers; but this rookie was not aware of this, so he freaked out when he heard his coach’s voice inside his helmet, giving him instructions.
Riddle: Two men and two women, all carrying loaded shotguns, drove to a field where they planned to shoot as many birds as possible. The four had absolutely no desire to eat any of the birds they were planning to shoot, and they brought no dogs to retrieve any they happened to hit. Each of the four people in turn would loudly shout a one-word command, and when a bird would fly out in front of them, they would shoot to destroy it. When they were finished, the bodies of 99 birds lay mutilated in the field, as only one bird had escaped their deadly shooting skills. The two men and two women cheerfully exchanged high-fives, and congratulated each other on their excellent hour of destruction. Several onlookers, who happened to witness the onslaught, gave the four a loud round of applause for the entertainment. Why did no one report this incident to the authorities, and why was there such a calloused attitude toward the shooting of these defenseless birds?
Answer: The birds the four were shooting at were pigeons ——— clay pigeons. The four were at a public shooting range, and when each of them yelled “pull”, a clay pigeon was catapulted into the air for their target practice.
Riddle: A young sailor boy from Chicago by the name of Jack, and his little Jack Russel terrier named Bingo, stood guard over a well-known treasure for 100 years, but neither Jack nor his dog ever experienced any kind of aging during that time. Perhaps the secret of Jack and Bingo's miraculous defiance of the aging process can best be explained by revealing Jack's famous motto: "The more you eat, the more you want." What is this famous treasure Jack and Bingo guarded for 100 years, and how did they manage to defy the aging process?
Answer: Young Sailor Jack and his little Jack Russel terrier have adorned every box of Cracker Jack that contained a hidden treasure (a prize) from 1916 until 2016. The company stopped putting little material prizes in each box in 2016, much to the chagrin of baseball fans everywhere.