Phil Jones

Riddle Count: 141
Riddle: A famous magician and his assistant were performing for a small crowd at a local mall. As part of their act, they both disappeared behind a small curtained area where they each picked up a wooden cross-shaped object. Suddenly, a small boy and girl appeared on stage in front of the audience. The magician waved his cross over the boy's head as he whispered, so only his assistant could hear him, "You are now hypnotized, and must do exactly as I tell you. I order you to strike the little girl on the top of her head." The little boy quickly complied, and the audience gasped. "I'm no hypnotist," whispered the assistant back to the magician, so only he could hear her, "but my intuition tells me the little girl is about to strike back." Sure enough, the girl kicked the little boy in the knee. The audience again gasped, as the magician simultaneously yelled, "Ouch!" At that point, the magician whispered to the assistant, "You win. Back to the script now." Was this some sick, twisted, abusive presentation, or was there some harmless explanation for these events? Just exactly what was going on here?
Answer: As part of their magic show, the magician and his assistant went behind a curtain, and each picked up a wooden cross-shaped controller, so they could manipulate their puppets for their puppet show which was part of their act. However, the magician got a bit mischievous, and used his puppet to bonk the assistant’s puppet on the head. The assistant wasn’t amused however, and not only retaliated with her girl puppet, but also kicked the magician in his knee at the same time. That was enough to make the magician return to the actual script of the puppet show.
The Magician Returns --- Again! Riddle Meme.
The Magician Returns --- Again! Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: A wife called to her husband from the front door of their home stating, "Don't forget to raise the flag, but please don't be goofy and salute it afterward." Her husband responded by saying, "Don't you love your country?" The wife replied, "I am very patriotic, but I would never salute that flag. You embarrass yourself when you do it, especially when the neighbors see you." "Well, all I know is if I don't raise the flag, we'll lose our electricity, our car will be towed away, and eventually we will be evicted! Being a veteran of the Army, as long as the flag is red, white, and blue, I will always salute it!" "Oh, have it your own way, answered his wife, "but it's not the raising of the flag to which I object, it's you're saluting it afterward that bothers me!" What were the circumstances behind this couple's bizarre-sounding argument?
Answer: The flag on the couple’s mailbox in front of their home was painted red, white, and blue to resemble the American flag. When the husband put their outgoing bills and other mail in the mailbox, he had to raise the flag to be sure their outgoing mail would be picked up by their mail delivery person. Being a veteran and a patriotic person, he felt compelled to salute the flag each time he raised it.
A Flag for All Seasons Riddle Meme.
A Flag for All Seasons Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: A nurse was speaking with a young doctor just prior to their entering the room where the surgery was to take place. "You know," said the nurse, "I am surprised you are going to attempt surgery on this patient again, since you have failed in all of your previous attempts. You are lucky this patient is unable to make any complaints concerning your failed surgical attempts, and sue you for malpractice! So far, you have botched his knee, ankle, heart, and rib surgeries, and now you are going to try to remove insects from this man's stomach. What's next, brain surgery?" "After today's operation, I believe I will do just that!," replied the doctor in a defiant tone, "and this time there will be no nose bleed, or a red nose of any kind during the surgery." "That'll be the day," replied the nurse. "I will be right next to you during the operation, so when you mess up, I'll have a good laugh!" What kind of twisted, warped, medical professionals are these two? Why haven't both of them been permanently banned from practicing medicine? Just what exactly is going on here?
Answer: While on break, several of the doctors and nurses at a hospital have been competing against one another in the classic game of Operation. This doctor, although he failed at removing the patient’s water on the knee, wrenched ankle, broken heart, and spare ribs, felt confident he could remove the butterflies from the patient’s stomach without causing the patient’s nose to light up red and trigger a buzzer sound signifying failure.
Medical Misfits? Riddle Meme.
Medical Misfits? Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: An old man with a long, white, scraggly beard, dressed in old, dirty blue jeans, innocently approaches a group of females and takes a seat next to one of them. After saying a few words of greeting to her, he suddenly reaches out and grabs hold of her private parts, and begins pulling at her repeatedly. Surprisingly, the female shows no objection to this aggressive action by the man, and even feels relieved by his actions. Even more surprising, is the fact that all of the other females present in the group seem undisturbed by the incident. This is not a house of ill repute, and the man offers no money or other gifts to the female. But the man doesn't stop there, as he systematically moves to each of the other females in turn, and repeats the same sordid actions to each of them. Where is the outrage? Why isn't this man behind bars, instead of being allowed to molest females? And why aren't the other females objecting to the man's advances? Or perhaps, this situation isn't as bad as it appears. What exactly is going on here?
Answer: The man is a farmer who is milking his cows.
A Pervert at Large??? Riddle Meme.
A Pervert at Large??? Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: A man is sitting in a room along with a group of mostly women. The man suddenly begins shouting out a list of letters and numbers, alternating between the two, (e.g., letter - number - letter - number - letter - number, etc.). This goes on for some time, with the man shouting, and those in attendance remaining silent. Eventually however, one of the women in the room shouts a one word response to the man, which causes some in the room to feel disappointment, while the woman who shouts out, feels happiness. What is happening here?
Answer: The man is calling a Bingo Game for a group of mostly women. The woman who shouts out says, "Bingo!", and feels happy, while the rest of the people feel disappointment.
Strange Happenings Riddle Meme.
Strange Happenings Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: A retired zookeeper owned a huge house with a very large and beautifully landscaped yard. The neighbors of the man drove past his home daily, and admired his arrangement of all the large trees and numerous healthy bushes which adorned the front yard. One day, a neighbor drove by the former zookeeper's house, and was astonished to see a living, fully-grown ostrich standing in the yard. A week later, neighbors reported seeing a live, fully-grown bear standing near the ostrich. As the next few weeks passed, the neighbors saw a tiger, a lion, a hippopotamus, and finally an elephant appear in the yard of the retired zookeeper --- all fully- grown and alive, but without any cages or bars to protect the neighborhood from them. Amazingly, not one person who lived in that area ever expressed any fear of the uncaged animals, and no one ever called the police for protection. Were these people living in the Twilight Zone? What exactly was going on here, and why weren't any of these people afraid for their lives?
Answer: The retired zookeeper was also a professional topiary expert. Mixing together the best of his two worlds, he sculpted zoo animals from his fully-grown, healthy, living bushes in his front yard, much to the delight of his neighbors.
Animal House Riddle Meme.
Animal House Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: In her work each day, a courageous young woman often encounters cobras, vipers, stingrays, barracudas, eagles, cougars, impalas, rams, spiders, beetles, and on rare occasions, a panther. This woman has no fear of any of these as she walks around in the midst of them, never carrying a gun or a whip, and without being protected from them by iron bars or safety barriers of any kind. What is the occupation of this brave, young woman, and why does she have no fear when performing her job?
Answer: The young woman is a used-car saleswoman who encounters a wide variety of high and low end trade-ins at the dealership where she works. Incidentally, all of the models of the used cars listed in this puzzle are named after animals. The last one mentioned, the Watercar panther, is an amphibious automobile which started to be produced in 2013.
#2 - Mystery Occupation Riddle Meme.
#2 - Mystery Occupation Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: A senior citizen, Marge recently made financial arrangements for a young, bald-headed man to come to her house, as she needed some assistance with some of her cleaning chores, including mopping the floors and general surface cleaning. However, despite her best efforts, Marge has been unable to convince the man to do any work for her. He just stands there with a constant smile plastered on his face, with his arms crossed, and his gold earring dangling from his left ear, as he watches Marge do all of her house cleaning -- but he never lifts one finger to help her! How long will Marge put up with this freeloader? After all, Marge has paid good money to get this man to come to her home to help her, but she ends up doing all the work! Where are the senior advocates? Just what exactly is going on here, and why is Marge allowing this situation to continue?
Answer: Marge’s helper, which she purchased at a local grocery store, is a bottle of Mr. Clean, floor and surface cleaner.
Taken to the Cleaners? Riddle Meme.
Taken to the Cleaners? Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: You were once a judge in a chocolate eclair-making contest, and you awarded the blue ribbon for first place to an outstanding chef by the name of Vera Good. However, another disgruntled chef who lost the competition, whose name was Notu Swell, experienced a mental meltdown and a subsequent nervous breakdown over the loss. He vowed to seek revenge against you, blaming you entirely for his not winning. With the cunning of a serial killer, he was able to entrap you and imprison you in the basement of his house. Once he had you in his clutches, he approached you and revealed his evil plan: "You see before you, five chocolate eclairs which I just finished baking. I have piped a deadly poison into four of these, but the fifth one is poison-free. You must choose one of the five eclairs, based on the matching recipes I have handed you, and eat the eclair which you believe not to be the poisoned one. If you can identify The Only Chocolate Eclair Recipe Which Has No False Ingredient In It, then you may eat it safely, and I will then release you. However, I doubt you have the knowledge to properly judge which eclair recipe is the true one. At any rate, you must eat one of my pastries, if you ever again wish to see the light of day." These are the five recipes from which you must choose. Your very life depends on it: RECIPE #1: 2 tbsp unsalted butter; 1/2 tsp salt; chocolate pastry cream; 1/2 cup whipping cream; 4 large eggs; 8 oz. semi-sweet chocolate; 1 oz. freshly ground paprika; 1 tbsp white sugar; 1 cup flour; 1 cup water. RECIPE #2: 2 tbsp unsalted butter; 1/2 tsp kosher salt; 2 oz. distilled white vinegar; vanilla pastry cream; 2 cups whole milk; 4 eggs; 1/2 cup confectioner's sugar; 1 cup flour; 1 tsp vanilla extract. RECIPE #3: 2 tbsp unsalted butter; 1/2 tsp salt; chocolate pastry cream; 1/2 cup whipping cream; 4 large eggs; 1/4 cup chopped oregano; 8 oz. semi-sweet chocolate; 2 tbsp corn syrup; 1 cup flour; 1 cup water. RECIPE #4: 2 tbsp unsalted butter; 1/2 tsp salt; vanilla pastry cream; 1 cup whipping cream; 4 large eggs; 8 oz. semi-sweet chocolate; 1 tbsp white sugar; 1 cup flour; 2 tbsp corn syrup; 1 cup water. RECIPE #5: 2 tbsp unsalted butter; 1/2 tsp kosher salt; vanilla pastry cream; 2 cups of whole or 2% milk; 1/2 cup whipping cream; 2 cups finely chopped onion; 1/2 cup confectioner's sugar; 4 large eggs; 8 oz. semi-sweet chocolate; 1 tsp vanilla extract; 1 tbsp white sugar; 1 cup flour. "Now, which of the five recipes is the ONLY one which contains no poison --- THE ONLY ONE HAVING NO FALSE ECLAIR INGREDIENT?" Which one will you choose?
Answer: Only RECIPE #4 has no false ingredient. The FALSE ingredients in the recipes are as follows: RECIPE #1 is Paprika. RECIPE #2 is Vinegar. RECIPE #3 is Oregano. RECIPE #5 is Chopped Onion. Did you survive?
Crazed Culinarian Riddle Meme.
Crazed Culinarian Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: Once every year a farmer walks about on his farm property, picks out his favorite tree, and chops it down with an axe. He then drags the tree home and puts it in a metal bowl. The farmer then spends time lovingly caring for the tree by watering it every day and providing it with the best plant food money can buy to keep it as healthy as possible. Two weeks later he throws the tree outside, sets it on fire, and burns it to a crisp. How can you explain this apparent drastic change in the farmer's mood toward this tree?
Answer: The man owns a Christmas tree farm where he grows thousands of Christmas trees for sale to the public. He is simply performing his annual Christmas ritual of selecting a tree, placing it in a tree stand, keeping it healthy for two weeks, and then disposing of it.
Split Personality? Riddle Meme.
Split Personality? Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.