Phil Jones

Riddle Count: 143
Riddle: A wife called to her husband from the front door of their home stating, "Don't forget to raise the flag, but please don't be goofy and salute it afterward." Her husband responded by saying, "Don't you love your country?" The wife replied, "I am very patriotic, but I would never salute that flag. You embarrass yourself when you do it, especially when the neighbors see you." "Well, all I know is if I don't raise the flag, we'll lose our electricity, our car will be towed away, and eventually we will be evicted! Being a veteran of the Army, as long as the flag is red, white, and blue, I will always salute it!" "Oh, have it your own way, answered his wife, "but it's not the raising of the flag to which I object, it's you're saluting it afterward that bothers me!" What were the circumstances behind this couple's bizarre-sounding argument?
Answer: The flag on the couple’s mailbox in front of their home was painted red, white, and blue to resemble the American flag. When the husband put their outgoing bills and other mail in the mailbox, he had to raise the flag to be sure their outgoing mail would be picked up by their mail delivery person. Being a veteran and a patriotic person, he felt compelled to salute the flag each time he raised it.
A Flag for All Seasons Riddle Meme.
A Flag for All Seasons Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: Two men and two women, all carrying loaded shotguns, drove to a field where they planned to shoot as many birds as possible. The four had absolutely no desire to eat any of the birds they were planning to shoot, and they brought no dogs to retrieve any they happened to hit. Each of the four people in turn would loudly shout a one-word command, and when a bird would fly out in front of them, they would shoot to destroy it. When they were finished, the bodies of 99 birds lay mutilated in the field, as only one bird had escaped their deadly shooting skills. The two men and two women cheerfully exchanged high-fives, and congratulated each other on their excellent hour of destruction. Several onlookers, who happened to witness the onslaught, gave the four a loud round of applause for the entertainment. Why did no one report this incident to the authorities, and why was there such a calloused attitude toward the shooting of these defenseless birds?
Answer: The birds the four were shooting at were pigeons ——— clay pigeons. The four were at a public shooting range, and when each of them yelled “pull”, a clay pigeon was catapulted into the air for their target practice.
Senseless Destruction Riddle Meme.
Senseless Destruction Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: An old man with a long, white, scraggly beard, dressed in old, dirty blue jeans, innocently approaches a group of females and takes a seat next to one of them. After saying a few words of greeting to her, he suddenly reaches out and grabs hold of her private parts, and begins pulling at her repeatedly. Surprisingly, the female shows no objection to this aggressive action by the man, and even feels relieved by his actions. Even more surprising, is the fact that all of the other females present in the group seem undisturbed by the incident. This is not a house of ill repute, and the man offers no money or other gifts to the female. But the man doesn't stop there, as he systematically moves to each of the other females in turn, and repeats the same sordid actions to each of them. Where is the outrage? Why isn't this man behind bars, instead of being allowed to molest females? And why aren't the other females objecting to the man's advances? Or perhaps, this situation isn't as bad as it appears. What exactly is going on here?
Answer: The man is a farmer who is milking his cows.
A Pervert at Large??? Riddle Meme.
A Pervert at Large??? Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: A man is sitting in a room along with a group of mostly women. The man suddenly begins shouting out a list of letters and numbers, alternating between the two, (e.g., letter - number - letter - number - letter - number, etc.). This goes on for some time, with the man shouting, and those in attendance remaining silent. Eventually however, one of the women in the room shouts a one word response to the man, which causes some in the room to feel disappointment, while the woman who shouts out, feels happiness. What is happening here?
Answer: The man is calling a Bingo Game for a group of mostly women. The woman who shouts out says, "Bingo!", and feels happy, while the rest of the people feel disappointment.
Strange Happenings Riddle Meme.
Strange Happenings Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: A young sailor boy from Chicago by the name of Jack, and his little Jack Russel terrier named Bingo, stood guard over a well-known treasure for 100 years, but neither Jack nor his dog ever experienced any kind of aging during that time. Perhaps the secret of Jack and Bingo's miraculous defiance of the aging process can best be explained by revealing Jack's famous motto: "The more you eat, the more you want." What is this famous treasure Jack and Bingo guarded for 100 years, and how did they manage to defy the aging process?
Answer: Young Sailor Jack and his little Jack Russel terrier have adorned every box of Cracker Jack that contained a hidden treasure (a prize) from 1916 until 2016. The company stopped putting little material prizes in each box in 2016, much to the chagrin of baseball fans everywhere.
1916 - 2016 Riddle Meme.
1916 - 2016 Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: A famous magician and his assistant were performing for a small crowd at a local mall. As part of their act, they both disappeared behind a small curtained area where they each picked up a wooden cross-shaped object. Suddenly, a small boy and girl appeared on stage in front of the audience. The magician waved his cross over the boy's head as he whispered, so only his assistant could hear him, "You are now hypnotized, and must do exactly as I tell you. I order you to strike the little girl on the top of her head." The little boy quickly complied, and the audience gasped. "I'm no hypnotist," whispered the assistant back to the magician, so only he could hear her, "but my intuition tells me the little girl is about to strike back." Sure enough, the girl kicked the little boy in the knee. The audience again gasped, as the magician simultaneously yelled, "Ouch!" At that point, the magician whispered to the assistant, "You win. Back to the script now." Was this some sick, twisted, abusive presentation, or was there some harmless explanation for these events? Just exactly what was going on here?
Answer: As part of their magic show, the magician and his assistant went behind a curtain, and each picked up a wooden cross-shaped controller, so they could manipulate their puppets for their puppet show which was part of their act. However, the magician got a bit mischievous, and used his puppet to bonk the assistant’s puppet on the head. The assistant wasn’t amused however, and not only retaliated with her girl puppet, but also kicked the magician in his knee at the same time. That was enough to make the magician return to the actual script of the puppet show.
The Magician Returns --- Again! Riddle Meme.
The Magician Returns --- Again! Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: A retired zookeeper owned a huge house with a very large and beautifully landscaped yard. The neighbors of the man drove past his home daily, and admired his arrangement of all the large trees and numerous healthy bushes which adorned the front yard. One day, a neighbor drove by the former zookeeper's house, and was astonished to see a living, fully-grown ostrich standing in the yard. A week later, neighbors reported seeing a live, fully-grown bear standing near the ostrich. As the next few weeks passed, the neighbors saw a tiger, a lion, a hippopotamus, and finally an elephant appear in the yard of the retired zookeeper --- all fully- grown and alive, but without any cages or bars to protect the neighborhood from them. Amazingly, not one person who lived in that area ever expressed any fear of the uncaged animals, and no one ever called the police for protection. Were these people living in the Twilight Zone? What exactly was going on here, and why weren't any of these people afraid for their lives?
Answer: The retired zookeeper was also a professional topiary expert. Mixing together the best of his two worlds, he sculpted zoo animals from his fully-grown, healthy, living bushes in his front yard, much to the delight of his neighbors.
Animal House Riddle Meme.
Animal House Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: A senior citizen, Marge recently made financial arrangements for a young, bald-headed man to come to her house, as she needed some assistance with some of her cleaning chores, including mopping the floors and general surface cleaning. However, despite her best efforts, Marge has been unable to convince the man to do any work for her. He just stands there with a constant smile plastered on his face, with his arms crossed, and his gold earring dangling from his left ear, as he watches Marge do all of her house cleaning -- but he never lifts one finger to help her! How long will Marge put up with this freeloader? After all, Marge has paid good money to get this man to come to her home to help her, but she ends up doing all the work! Where are the senior advocates? Just what exactly is going on here, and why is Marge allowing this situation to continue?
Answer: Marge’s helper, which she purchased at a local grocery store, is a bottle of Mr. Clean, floor and surface cleaner.
Taken to the Cleaners? Riddle Meme.
Taken to the Cleaners? Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: A young woman owns two horses, a plane, a gun, a tape with many markings, and a machine with sharp teeth which she uses almost every day. She does not use any of these for transportation or for self-defense (although the gun is loaded), but she does rely on all of these items to meet her financial needs. What does this young woman do for a living, and why does she need this strange assortment of objects?
Answer: The young woman is a carpenter. She uses her two sawhorses, her carpenter’s plane, her nail gun, her tape measure, and her circular saw almost every day as she works to earn a living.
Mystery Occupation Riddle Meme.
Mystery Occupation Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: A nurse was speaking with a young doctor just prior to their entering the room where the surgery was to take place. "You know," said the nurse, "I am surprised you are going to attempt surgery on this patient again, since you have failed in all of your previous attempts. You are lucky this patient is unable to make any complaints concerning your failed surgical attempts, and sue you for malpractice! So far, you have botched his knee, ankle, heart, and rib surgeries, and now you are going to try to remove insects from this man's stomach. What's next, brain surgery?" "After today's operation, I believe I will do just that!," replied the doctor in a defiant tone, "and this time there will be no nose bleed, or a red nose of any kind during the surgery." "That'll be the day," replied the nurse. "I will be right next to you during the operation, so when you mess up, I'll have a good laugh!" What kind of twisted, warped, medical professionals are these two? Why haven't both of them been permanently banned from practicing medicine? Just what exactly is going on here?
Answer: While on break, several of the doctors and nurses at a hospital have been competing against one another in the classic game of Operation. This doctor, although he failed at removing the patient’s water on the knee, wrenched ankle, broken heart, and spare ribs, felt confident he could remove the butterflies from the patient’s stomach without causing the patient’s nose to light up red and trigger a buzzer sound signifying failure.
Medical Misfits? Riddle Meme.
Medical Misfits? Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.