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What is the difference between a hungry man and a glutton?
One longs to eat and the other eats too long.
How can you tell if a ghost is about to faint?
He gets pale as a sheet.
A group of soldiers were standing in the blistering sun facing due west. Their sergeant shouted at them: Right turn! About turn! Left turn! In which direction are they now facing?
East. A right turn is 90 degrees, an about turn is 180 degrees, and a left turn is also 90 degrees. Therefore, the soldiers are now facing east.
Why don't zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
Because they prefer to eat their fingers separately.
Why are opera singers good sailors?
Because they can handle the seas!
Which is the oldest tree?
How do chiropractors swim laps?
They do the back stroke.
What famous nurse wore her pajamas all day long?
What is the proper length for a lady's skirt?
A little above two feet.
When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar.
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