Phil Jones

Riddle Count: 139
Riddle: Dorothy and Irene are now model citizens, but in their younger days, when they were in elementary school, they were known as "The Two Lightning Bolts". It was the last day of fourth grade for these two classmates back in 1929, and the two had concocted an evil plot to get back at their fourth-grade teacher, who they did not like. At one point, when the teacher turned his back on them to face the blackboard, Dorothy and Irene each carefully removed loaded guns from their lunch boxes, aimed them at the teacher, and pulled the triggers. Fortunately, they were both poor shots, but they did manage to graze their teacher on his back and head with a few of their repeated shots. As the teacher tried to escape the classroom, he slipped and fell twice on Dorothy and Irene’s loose ammunition, but he managed to make it to the school office to report the shooting attack. However, "The Two Lightning Bolts" received only a two-week suspension, starting at the beginning of the following school year for their premeditated attack on the teacher. I always heard discipline was better and stronger in the past, but these two tried to shoot their teacher with loaded guns, and got off with only a two-week suspension! How can this travesty ok of justice possibly be explained?
Answer: Dorothy and Irene did indeed shoot their teacher while in fourth grade, but the attack was made with their squirt guns. The teacher slipped on the water which had missed him, and he subsequently slipped and fell on the floor during his attempted escape. The school went lightly on the two, because they knew the parents had additional punishments for “The Two Lightning Bolts”.
The Two Lightning Bolts Riddle Meme.
The Two Lightning Bolts Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: While sitting in his living room one evening, Jim thought he heard some voices outside. At that same moment, he observed a dark blur quickly pass by his window, just as daylight was fading. He saw it return to pass by his window a second, a third, and a fourth time. Thinking it must be a bird or a bat, Jim thought little of it, until about 20 minutes later when he saw the same blur pass by his window --- but this time it was a dull greenish color! He immediately jumped to his feet and ran to the window, just in time to see a glowing disk-shaped object hover, and then land on top of his neighbor's roof where it remained motionless. Jim watched for a long time, as it slowly began to lose its glow. He considered calling the police to report a possible U.F.O. sighting, but he didn't want to risk becoming a "community crackpot", so he decided instead to wait until morning to see if the strange, glowing craft remained on the roof where it had landed. What do you suppose Jim saw on his neighbor’s roof the next morning?
Answer: The "U.F.O." Jim had seen was a black frisbee two kids had been throwing in his back yard. As it began to get dark, they switched to a glow-in-the-dark frisbee to see it better. Unfortunately, the first time they threw it, they quickly ran off, as they saw they had thrown it onto the neighbor's roof, and they didn't want to get into trouble.
U.F.O. Sighting? Riddle Meme.
U.F.O. Sighting? Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: As an April Fool's joke, a prankster, who works in an assisted living facility, created a flyer and distributed one to each room of the facility. Here is what the flyer announced: Attention!!! All residents!!! Several creatures have recently been spotted in hallways and day areas of this facility. The primary creature seen is reported to be warm-blooded, is between 60 and 72 inches in length, and has three legs and three feet. There have even been rarer sightings of several of these life forms having six legs and six feet. Anyone sighting either of these two creatures should immediately notify the receptionist for instructions. What do you suppose the living organisms were to which the prankster was referring in his April Fool's flyers?
Answer: The "creatures" to which the prankster was referring, were the residents who used canes and walkers. Each cane acted as a resident's third leg, with a foot at the base of each cane. The rarer "creatures" were the residents using four-legged walkers with a foot at the bottom of each leg. These sums were added to each resident's physical two legs and two feet which accounted for the description of the "life forms" in the flyers.
April Fools!!! Riddle Meme.
April Fools!!! Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: Two male members of the aristocracy are positioned to engage in battle against one another. Their wives, undaunted and loyal, stand beside their husbands, despite the dangers of the impending conflict. The strength of each of the opposing forces is equal, but small, with a mere 14 fighting men for each force, aside from the husbands and their wives. The combat is about to commence, so I ask you ------- Which army will make the first move?
Answer: The White Army. White always is required to make the first move ----- in a game of chess.
Stand By Your Man Riddle Meme.
Stand By Your Man Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: Shirley's two-year-old granddaughter carries around with her something Shirley recently purchased for her in the produce section of a local supermarket. The little girl has the item wrapped in a blanket, pretending it is her baby. She carries her "baby" with her everywhere she goes, and even sleeps with it at nighttime. However, the "baby" has no body, but consists of a brown head with two eyes and a mouth; or is it two eyes and a nose? Sometimes it is difficult to tell, but only the face of the baby peeks out from the surrounding blanket. What type of produce is this "baby" which Shirley's granddaughter carries around with her?
Answer: The two-year-old’s “baby” is actually a coconut which she wraps in a blanket, with the three circular indentations of the “face” turned outward.
Produce Parent Riddle Meme.
Produce Parent Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: A businesswoman named Coraline was at her place of work when a young man entered. "You look like a Clark to me," said Coraline in greeting him. The man responded, "You are exactly right," and he exchanged something with her and then left. A second man entered and said, "I'm really hungry, and am looking for the nearest fast-food place." "I suggest you take 5th Avenue," answered Coraline. He then exchanged something with her and left. A rather heavy-set woman then came through the door and Coraline said, "You are definitely a chunky person!" Seemingly unaffected by the comment, the woman said, "I certainly have to agree with you," and she then exchanged something with Coraline and then departed. A policewoman then entered and said in a serious voice, "I received a tip that one of the Peanuts gang was hiding in here, and I came to take her in. "She is here," replied Coraline, and she turned her over to the officer in exchange for something. Finally, a shady-looking character came slinking in, carrying a black briefcase. "Why are you here?" asked Coraline. "It's not payday again, is it?" "You got it, Sweetie!" he replied, and he exchanged something with her and then left. What in the world was going on here, and what kind of business was Coraline operating?
Answer: Coraline was the owner and operator of a candy shop. Most of her customers were repeat customers, and she was very familiar with their specific requests before they ever stated them. In order of their entry into her store, she offered them: A Clark bar, a 5th Avenue candy bar, a Chunky square, a Peppermint Patty, and a Payday bar. Each customer simply paid for their selection and left with their favorite candy.
Coraline the Businesswoman Riddle Meme.
Coraline the Businesswoman Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: A woman went to see her psychiatrist and told him about a strange dream she had just had the night before. She said she had dreamed she was eating a late supper when she suddenly saw a "jay" before her, but it wasn't blue, and it wasn't flying. Then she saw a "pea", but it wasn't green, and it wasn't in a garden. Next, she envisioned a "sea", but it had no waves or boats. A "bee" then unexpectedly appeared, but it did not sting her. Shockingly, she then encountered an "eye", but it didn't blink or wink at her. Finally, she reported to the psychiatrist, "And then I saw "you" in my dream, but "you" did not speak to me." The psychiatrist quickly analyzed the woman's story and told her, "That was no dream you had. If you want these "dreams" to stop, you've got to stop eating your favorite food so late at night!" What was the food the psychiatrist told the woman to stop eating, and what exactly was going on here?
Answer: The psychiatrist knew of the woman’s regular habit of eating a bowl of alphabet soup just before going to bed each night. This was the reason for her dreaming about the various letters of the alphabet she had seen while eating —— in this case —— the letters J, P, C, B, I, and U.
Dream or Reality? Riddle Meme.
Dream or Reality? Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: Billy and Sally set out on a journey to visit a famous castle, but they both forgot to bring any food, water, or money with them. At the onset of their trip, they saw a beautiful rainbow in the sky which they considered to be a good omen. Fortunately for them, along the way, they found some friendly individuals who offered them some high-calorie treats to eat --- gumdrops and peanut brittle being two examples. At one dangerous point in their journey, they had to pass through a swamp, but fortunately, no alligators were seen. Finally, they arrived at the castle, and after a brief visit there, they left the castle, went to a nearby eatery, and had tuna fish sandwiches for lunch. Where in the world was this famous castle located?
Answer: Billy and Sally were children, playing a game of Candy Land.
Junk Food Journey Riddle Meme.
Junk Food Journey Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: A woman, who is the executive director of a large and profitable business, has an interesting job description. Among her many duties, she is primarily responsible for the gathering and dispensing of pictures of dead people. In fact, she has a special room within her facility which is specifically designed to hold many thousands of these pictures, and she is assigned the task of securing this room against any and all unscrupulous scoundrels who might try to steal them. Her gang of laborers spend most of the week exchanging these pictures with those who frequent her establishment, sometimes collecting, and sometimes giving these pictures to others at their request. This woman and her employees appear to enjoy their work, as they all carry these pictures of deceased individuals in their purses and wallets outside of work. Is this woman and her gang of laborers morbidly deranged, or are they more normal than they initially appear to be? Just what is this business in which these people are engaged?
Answer: The woman is a bank president, and her gang of laborers are the tellers who work there. The pictures of dead people are the many thousands of bills and coins, each with a picture of a former President or a high ranking official who are now deceased, from our past government.
They See Dead People Riddle Meme.
They See Dead People Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.
Riddle: Clayton grew up in a very large, very poor family. With a dozen children(six boys and six girls) to care for, his parents had a hard time providing food and clothing for everyone. Also, as hot water had to first be boiled on the stove to mix with cold water for baths, Clayton and his siblings were lucky to be able to take a bath even one time a month. As he grew older, Clayton was able to obtain a good-paying job, and could afford to move into better housing where he had enough food and clean clothing for himself; but his habit of rarely taking a bath stuck with him. In fact, Clayton now only takes a bath once every two years or so, but no one at his office job(where he has to wear a suit and tie) has ever complained of his having any body odor, or made any negative references concerning his personal hygiene. They say old habits die hard, but this one grew by leaps and bounds!! Refusing to take even a sponge bath, how does Clayton manage to keep his job without offending any of his co-workers?
Answer: Clayton takes a shower every day.
Scents and Sensibility Riddle Meme.
Scents and Sensibility Riddle Meme with riddle and answer link.