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How did the chimp fix the leaky faucet?
With a monkey wrench.
When young, I am sweet in the sun. When middle-aged, I make you gay. When old, I am valued more than ever. What am I?
Did you hear about the soilder who bought a camouflage sleeping bag?
He can't find it
What animal would you get crossed a duck, a beaver, and an otter?
What do bumblebees sing in the shower?
Why did the shower bar turn red?
Its towel fell off.
What is yellow, looks like the moon and has seeds?
What animal has no wings, but yet will fly?
A caterpillar has no wings, but will fly when it matures and becomes a butterfly.
How did the court know the judge was ready for bed?
He was wearing his robe.
Five hundred begins it, five hundred ends it,
Five in the middle is seen;
First of all figures, the first of all letters,
Take up their stations between.
Join all together, and then you will bring
Before you the name of an eminent king.
David (Roman numerals).
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