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What is the difference between a hungry man and a glutton?
One longs to eat and the other eats too long.
What is the proper length for a lady's skirt?
A little above two feet.
What is the name of a movie about cows that attack each other?
What do you get when you cross Santa Claus and a duck?
A Christmas quacker.
How can you tell if a ghost is about to faint?
He gets pale as a sheet.
How do chiropractors swim laps?
They do the back stroke.
What is the difference between a deer fleeing from hunters and a midget witch?
One is a hunted stag and the other a stunted hag.
What type of bean is a cannibals favorite to eat ?
A Human Being.
How do you clean a dirty tuba?
With a tuba toothpaste!
When was pork first introduced into the Navy?
When Noah brought Ham into the ark.
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