What lives undisturbed, dies when disturbed and spies when you're disturbed?
Answer: Mabel is a Box Turtle who is the house pet of a family with several children. She is well cared for, but instinctively closes the front door of her shell and pulls her legs in if she senses danger, which includes inquisitive children.
In the home where Mabel resides, she has a reputation for walking very slowly, even though she is only 40 years old. Her slowness doesn't appear to be related to arthritis or to other medical ailments, but is more likely due to heredity, as her parents both had the same condition. Mabel does not use a walker or a cane to move about, and a wheelchair would be out of the question. Mabel is an extreme introvert who basically stays in her home 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Although it sounds a bit strange, you could say, even when Mabel leaves her home --- she stays at home. Although she frequently leaves the front door to her home open, she is easily frightened, causing her to immediately shut that front door when she feels threatened in any way. Mabel's caretakers frequently laugh at her and sometimes point their fingers at her as she struggles to move along. The caretakers allow Mabel only small rations of food and water each day, and they never give her a shower. Where are the abuse investigators? Where is the justice? Or are things not as bad as they appear to be for Mabel?
Answer: The word "Nothing".
What doesn't exist, but has a name?
Answer: Young Sailor Jack and his little Jack Russel terrier have adorned every box of Cracker Jack that contained a hidden treasure (a prize) from 1916 until 2016. The company stopped putting little material prizes in each box in 2016, much to the chagrin of baseball fans everywhere.
A young sailor boy from Chicago by the name of Jack, and his little Jack Russel terrier named Bingo, stood guard over a well-known treasure for 100 years, but neither Jack nor his dog ever experienced any kind of aging during that time. Perhaps the secret of Jack and Bingo's miraculous defiance of the aging process can best be explained by revealing Jack's famous motto: "The more you eat, the more you want." What is this famous treasure Jack and Bingo guarded for 100 years, and how did they manage to defy the aging process?
My name has six letters in it. Take a letter away and it becomes seven. What is my name?
Answer: The famous king and the famous queen were: The Burger King and The Dairy Queen. Both had just built new franchises in the small town, and each was hoping to gather the most new customers from the townspeople who lived there. Neither franchise was about to give free food away to everyone, so all the people bought their burgers, fries, and ice cream treats at one or the other, and all were happy to have both of these fast-food options available to them in their community.
One day, a famous king and a famous queen each moved to the same small, rural town, and each built their own house there. The king and the queen were not married, but they were related. The report was they were not very fond of one another, despite being related, and in fact, were both well-known for having highly competitive natures. Both the king and the queen sent out invitations to the townspeople to visit their new houses, each secretly hoping the people would come only to see them, and not the other. On the given day, residents of the town lined up outside both the king's and the queen's new houses; but the people showed no outward signs of respect by bowing or curtsying to either of them. In return, the king presented a stone-faced appearance to his visitors, while the queen offered a cold and frosty reception to everyone who entered her place. To top things off, both the king and the queen both provided food and drink to all the people who came to visit them, but the townspeople were all made to pay for everything they ate and drank that day. However, the people all left both houses that day --- satisfied and happy!!! Why did the people show no outward signs of respect to the famous king and queen, and why weren't the townspeople upset and angry about being invited, and then having to pay for their meals?
Answer: Professor Hunter was a world traveler as well as a big game hunter. He studied the art of taxidermy, got his license, and taught this favorite hobby of his at the community college for many years. He decorated his study with the heads of several big game animals he had bagged while hunting in Africa. He gave himself a genuine scare when he awakened from his dream to see the heads of the very animals of which he had just dreamt.
Professor Hunter, a former world traveler and recently retired community college teacher, is now able to pursue his favorite hobby in the comfort of his own home. Several diplomas, certificates, and a license to practice his hobby adorn his study where he continues to engage in his favorite pastime, which also happens to be the subject he taught part-time at the community college. He told me of a nightmare he had last week after he fell asleep in his study. The professor said he dreamed he was on a hunting expedition in an African jungle, far from any civilization. In his nightmare, he found himself alone, without any weapons, and was suddenly surrounded by a lion, a hippopotamus, a leopard, a cheetah, and a ferocious cape buffalo. They were just closing in for the kill when he suddenly awoke from his dream. But was it a dream? Professor Hunter said he nearly had a heart attack when he looked around the room, and realized the dream was real after all! What was the professor's hobby, and why was he so frightened when he awoke from his dream?
I leave every time you say my name. What am I?
Answer: The right answer is that the bottle costs 105 cents, and the cork costs 5 cents.
A bottle costs a dollar more than a cork. Together they cost 110 cents. How much does the bottle cost and how much does the cork cost?
Answer: The sun! It controls shadows.
What controls something that everybody and everything has?