NEW RIDDLES

This sentence is frequently asked of small children. Each word in the sentence can be replaced by a letter. What is the sentence?

Sally Johnson called 911 when she first noticed Theodore was missing, but the operator told her there was nothing the police could do until Theodore was missing for at least 24 hours. The 911 operator told Miss Johnson that Theodore would probably be found because, based on the description Sally had given of Theodore, the operator felt Theodore was not the type to run away from home. However, Miss Johnson wasn’t willing to wait that long, so she sent her German shepherd dog out to look for him, after she had first let the dog have a sniff of the tiny sweater she had dressed Theodore in earlier that day. However, when the dog returned without Theodore, Sally considered calling the F.B.I., as she started thinking little Theodore might have been kidnapped. No ransom note or telephone call was received by Miss Johnson that day, however, so Sally began to systematically search her house. After frantically searching, Miss Johnson finally found Theodore in her basement --- in the washing machine --- still wet, after apparently having gone through a complete washing cycle! Why was the 911 operator so cavalier about the missing Theodore? Should D.C.F.S. be notified to investigate? Where was the adult supervision; or is there a simpler explanation for these events?

What do you call a bear with no ears?

What did one toilet say to the other?

What washes up on tiny beaches?

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

What did you think about the kidnaping in the park?

What did the actress think when she saw her first strands of gray hair?

A woman, who is the executive director of a large and profitable business, has an interesting job description. Among her many duties, she is primarily responsible for the gathering and dispensing of pictures of dead people. In fact, she has a special room within her facility which is specifically designed to hold many thousands of these pictures, and she is assigned the task of securing this room against any and all unscrupulous scoundrels who might try to steal them. Her gang of laborers spend most of the week exchanging these pictures with those who frequent her establishment, sometimes collecting, and sometimes giving these pictures to others at their request. This woman and her employees appear to enjoy their work, as they all carry these pictures of deceased individuals in their purses and wallets outside of work. Is this woman and her gang of laborers morbidly deranged, or are they more normal than they initially appear to be? Just what is this business in which these people are engaged?