A woman who lived in Germany during World War II wanted to cross the German/Swiss border in order to escape Nazi pursuers. The bridge which she is to cross is a half mile across, over a large canyon. Every three minutes a guard comes out of his bunker and checks if anyone is on the bridge. If a person is caught trying to escape German side to the Swiss side they are shot. If caught crossing the other direction without papers they are sent back. She knows that it takes at least five minutes to cross the bridge, in which time the guard will see her crossing and shoot her. How does she get across?
She waits until the guard is inside his hut, then walks halfway across before starting to walk back. The guard, seing she has no papers, sends her "back".
A Panda Bear walked into a restaurant. He sat down at a table and ordered some food. When he was finished eating, he took out a gun and shot his waiter. He then left the restaurant. After the police caught up with him, they asked him why he had killed the waiter. He replied, “Look me up in the dictionary.” What did the dictionary say?
When they looked up the word "Panda" in the dictionary, it stated, "Panda: Eats shoots and leaves."