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Riddle:

Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting?

Answer:

Because they always drop their needles.

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Riddle:

There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. He has a wife and 2 kids. What does he weigh?

Answer:

Meat.

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Riddle:

A bus driver was heading down a street in Colorado. He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a "no left turn" sign, and he went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws. Why not?

Answer:

He was walking.

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Riddle:

How do you know that a vampire loves baseball?

Answer:

Because he turns into a bat every night.

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Riddle:

Why was the nose so tired?

Answer:

Because it had been running all day.

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Riddle:

No matter how little or how much you use me, you change me every month. What am I?

Answer:

A Calendar.

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Riddle:

A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

Answer:

The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

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Riddle:

What kind of music can you hear in space?

Answer:

A nept-tune.

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Riddle:

Why do skeletons go on vacations alone?

Answer:

Because they have no-body to go with.

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Riddle:

The more you take of me the more you leave behind?

Answer:

Footsteps.

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