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What is the time-piece, That needs no winding?
A rooster.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What does a stone become when in the water?
A whetstone.
What do witches ask for when they stop at a hotel?
Broom Service or A broom with a view.
How do you get into the great lakes?
With the Florida Keys.
What kind of sandwich sinks to the bottom of the tub?
A submarine sandwich!
What does the artist like to draw best?
His salary.
What be the best way to escape the inside of a whale?
Running as hard as you can until you’re all pooped out.
Why are opera singers good sailors?
Because they can handle the seas!
How do hangmen keep up with current events?
They read the noose-paper.
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