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What is the proper length for a lady's skirt?
A little above two feet.
How do you clean a dirty tuba?
With a tuba toothpaste!
Which is the oldest tree?
The elder.
What famous nurse wore her pajamas all day long?
Florence Nightingown.
What is the difference between a deer fleeing from hunters and a midget witch?
One is a hunted stag and the other a stunted hag.
When was pork first introduced into the Navy?
When Noah brought Ham into the ark.
Why do prisoners like to eat a lot of sweets?
Because they would like to break out
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
How can you tell if a ghost is about to faint?
He gets pale as a sheet.
How did the chimp fix the leaky faucet?
With a monkey wrench.
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