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How does a robot shave?
With a laser blade.
How do chiropractors swim laps?
They do the back stroke.
What is the best thing to put into pies?
Your teeth.
How can you make a fly ball?
Hit him with a bat.
When may a man call his wife "honey"?
When she has a comb in her hair.
What is the difference between a deer fleeing from hunters and a midget witch?
One is a hunted stag and the other a stunted hag.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Why don't zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
Because they prefer to eat their fingers separately.
When is a bump like a hat?
When it is felt.
What does a stone become when in the water?
A whetstone.
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