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Which is the oldest tree?
The elder.
Why can't a cook swallow his apron?
Because it goes against his stomach.
What animal would you get crossed a duck, a beaver, and an otter?
A platypus.
When is a bump like a hat?
When it is felt.
What does a newspaper reporter use to dry himself after his shower?
Paper towels.
How did the chimp fix the leaky faucet?
With a monkey wrench.
What is the difference between a deer fleeing from hunters and a midget witch?
One is a hunted stag and the other a stunted hag.
What do ghosts do before they enter a haunted house?
Wipe their sheets.
What does the artist like to draw best?
His salary.
When should you charge your electric toothbrush?
When you can't pay cash.
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