Riddle: What happened when the rubber duckie fell into the bathtub?
Answer: It quacked up.
Riddle: How did the farmer fix his jeans?
Answer: With a cabbage patch!
Riddle: How do you clean a dirty tuba?
Answer: With a tuba toothpaste!
Riddle: How do you send Easter Cards?
Answer: By hare mail!
Riddle: A traveling circuit judge and a local constable had friendly discussions about how to handle misbehavior in their city. This involves burglars, robbers, cattle rustlers, drunks, and ladies of the night. The options they discussed were to put them in jail, run them out of town, warn them, or try to rehabilitate them with books, music, and art. Since the circuit judge traveled, much of this correspondence have to be by telegraph. One day the constable apprehended a lady of the night and telegraphed the circuit judge asking what to do. He described her as being young and having just taken the wrong path. The circuit judge wanted to respond to the constable. But when he got to the telegraph office realized he had only enough money to send one word. What one word did he send?
Answer: Horticulture.
Riddle: Many years ago a boy and a girl are planning to run off and get married. But the boy got cold feet and needed to tell the girl. He wanted to send a telegram, but only had enough money for one word. What one word did he send?
Answer: Cantaloupe.
Riddle: What's wide at the bottom, narrow at the top, and has ears?
Answer: A mountain with mountainears
Riddle: What type of bean is a cannibals favorite to eat ?
Answer: A Human Being.
Riddle: What is that which never uses its teeth for eating purposes?
Answer: A comb.
Riddle: Where do sailors take their baths?
Answer: In a tubmarine.