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Riddle:

little Nancy Ettistoat, in a white pettiecoat and a red nose, the longer she stands, the shorter she grows!

Answer:

a candle

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Riddle:

a boy had just got out of the shower and gettin ready for his prom,shaved,and with cologne and there was going to be a after party and his mom, and dad said be home for the next sunrise and was home for the next sunrise but with a full grown beard how can this be?

Answer:

he lives in alaska and sunrise's are every six months.

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Riddle:

Why can't a cook swallow his apron?

Answer:

Because it goes against his stomach.

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Riddle:

What does a newspaper reporter use to dry himself after his shower?

Answer:

Paper towels.

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Riddle:

How do chiropractors swim laps?

Answer:

They do the back stroke.

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Riddle:

What would happen if a girl swallowed her spoon?

Answer:

She couldn't stir.

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Riddle:

Why are trees in winter like troublesome visitors?

Answer:

Because it's a long time before they leave.

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Riddle:

How do you clean a dirty tuba?

Answer:

With a tuba toothpaste!

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Riddle:

When may a man call his wife "honey"?

Answer:

When she has a comb in her hair.

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Riddle:

How does a robot shave?

Answer:

With a laser blade.

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