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When may a man call his wife "honey"?
When she has a comb in her hair.
What do computer programmers sing in the shower?
Why are 1999 ten pound notes worth more than 1993 ten pound notes?
Because there are more of them!
Why was the fisherman arrested?
For packing a rod.
Would you rather have a tiger or lion eat you?
I'd rather have the tiger eat the lion.
My tines be long, My tines be short, My tines end ere, My first report., What am I?
How can you be sure the engine in your car isn't missing?
Lift the hood and look in.
What is a bare-faced liar?
One without whiskers.
On a fine sunny day a ship was in the harbor. All of a sudden the ship began to sink. There was no storm and nothing wrong with the ship yet it sank right in front of the spectators eyes. What caused the ship to sink?
The "Submarine" Captain ordered the crew to dive.
When is a bump like a hat?
When it is felt.
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