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A man walked in to a bar and asked for a glass of water the bar man took out a gun and poined it at him the man who asked for the glass of water just smiled and walked away happy Why?
He had the hicupps
Why is coffee like an axe with a dull edge?
Because it must be ground before it is used.
How do hangmen keep up with current events?
They read the noose-paper.
When are eyes not eyes?
When the wind makes them water.
When is a ship at sea not on the water?
When she is on fire.
Why did the jelly roll?
It saw the apple turn over.
What is a bare-faced liar?
One without whiskers.
When was pork first introduced into the Navy?
When Noah brought Ham into the ark.
With what two animals do you always go to bed?
What would happen if a girl swallowed her spoon?
She couldn't stir.
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