Riddle:
A rookie, professional football player who had just joined his new team from the college ranks, came off the practice field and told his coach in a shaky, fear-filled voice that he repeatedly heard a man's voice inside his head speaking out commands for him to follow. The player then asked the coach, "Do you think I am a schizophrenic?" "No," replied the coach. "I think you are an idiot." Why was the coach so rude and unsympathetic when responding to the mental health concerns of the young player; and what position had he been recruited to fill on the team?
Answer: The young player was a rookie quarterback drafted by this pro team. In professional football, quarterbacks wear helmets with speakers built into them, so the coach can tell them what plays to run. In college football, where this young player had played quarterback, helmets are not allowed to contain speakers; but this rookie was not aware of this, so he freaked out when he heard his coach’s voice inside his helmet, giving him instructions.
Riddle:
Why was the arrow trembling?
Answer: Because he saw his friends in a quiver. (arrow pouch)
Riddle:
If your feet smell and your nose runs, what ails you?
Answer: You are upside down.
Riddle:
What is the difference between an African Elephant and an Indian Elephant?
Answer: About 3,000 miles.
Riddle:
What is the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
Answer: You cannot wash hands in a buffalo.
Riddle:
What is Heavy Forward but Not Backward?
Answer: a belly.
Riddle:
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
Answer: The wind goes right through them!
Riddle:
A chap at a craft fair, orders a beer brewed from lungs, hearts, liver, and kidneys. After he drank it, what did he say?
Answer: That offal.
Riddle:
Why was the theatre closed down?
Answer: Because it was CLAPPED out.
Riddle:
Shirley's two-year-old granddaughter carries around with her something Shirley recently purchased for her in the produce section of a local supermarket. The little girl has the item wrapped in a blanket, pretending it is her baby. She carries her "baby" with her everywhere she goes, and even sleeps with it at nighttime. However, the "baby" has no body, but consists of a brown head with two eyes and a mouth; or is it two eyes and a nose? Sometimes it is difficult to tell, but only the face of the baby peeks out from the surrounding blanket. What type of produce is this "baby" that Shirley's granddaughter carries around with her?
Answer: The two-year-old’s “baby” is actually a coconut which she wraps in a blanket, with the three circular indentations of the “face” turned outward.
