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When is a bump like a hat?
When it is felt.
Why was the fisherman arrested?
For packing a rod.
What does the artist like to draw best?
His salary.
Place three matches on a table. Tell a friend to add two more matches to make eight.
Add two matches to make a roman numeral eight.
Would you rather have a tiger or lion eat you?
I'd rather have the tiger eat the lion.
My tines be long, My tines be short, My tines end ere, My first report., What am I?
lightning
Why is coffee like an axe with a dull edge?
Because it must be ground before it is used.
Blend a teapot shot so the pearlies won't rot!
Toothpaste!
How can you be sure the engine in your car isn't missing?
Lift the hood and look in.
I go up and down the stairs without moving. What am I?
I go up and down the stairs without moving.
What am I?
I am a carpet
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