Riddle: Who's St. Patrick's favorite superhero?
Answer: Green Lantern!
Riddle: How many gold coins can a leprechaun throw in an empty pot?
Answer: One. After that, it’s no longer empty.
Riddle: How do you make "SIX" to an odd number?
Answer: Remove the "S" which leaves IX which is 9 in roman numerals.
Riddle: Every day, some of America's finest fall into enemy traps and are captured and placed behind bars. The olive-green and greenish-brown camouflage uniforms they wear don't appear to be effective in protecting them against these enemies. Once caught, there is rarely any chance of escape for any of these prisoners. In fact, nearly all of them are executed by their captors, but never once has even one of them ever revealed any state secrets before dying. Each prisoner is systematically removed from his/her cell by an executioner wearing a white uniform and hat. This killer appears to have no conscience, as he ends the lives of many of these captives each day by scalding them to death. However, there are many Americans who want to honor these and celebrate the lives of the fallen. In fact, 44 U.S. states have erected monuments to remind us of those who have given their lives to serve us. Who are these captives, and what are these monuments which have been erected to help us remember them?
Answer: The captives are lobsters, and the monuments 44 states have erected to help us remember them are Red Lobster seafood restaurants. Just so everyone knows, lobsters only turn red after being boiled.
Riddle: A tall, burly, unarmed man and a short, slim, unarmed man, both dressed in sheer nylon stockings, women's clothing, and blond wigs, enter a bar in New York City. The tall, burly man approaches the bartender and asks him for something. Immediately, the bartender reaches below the counter, pulls out a gun, and shoots the man. The short, slim man responds by quickly bolting from the bar. New Yorkers have a reputation for being testy and unfriendly, but wasn't this a bit extreme? In fact, when the police arrived on the scene, they backed the bartender and did not charge him with any crime. What do you suppose the tall, burly man had requested from the bartender which led to his being shot, and why did the police support the bartender’s extreme reaction?
Answer: The man asked the bartender to give him all the bar’s money. The bartender’s extreme reaction was due to the fact that both the tall and short man were wearing their sheer nylon stockings over their heads when the request was made.
Riddle: Sometimes I shine, sometimes I’m dull, sometimes I am big, and sometimes I am small. I can be pointy, I can be curved, and don't ask me questions because even though I'm sharp, I’m not smart enough to answer you. What am I?
Answer: A knife.
Riddle: How did the handless man pick his nose?
Answer: He didn't. He was born with it.
Riddle: I can be small as a mouse or as big as a whale, But no matter how big, I'm no burden to scales. You can fight me for practice, but you'll never win. I follow bright people, but I'm always dim. If you're needing a partner, I'm as keen to dance. But I know no move that doesn't copy your stance. What am I?
Answer: A shadow.
Riddle: I can open that which has no knob, key, handle or door. What am I?
Answer: A can opener.
Riddle: Little William Dilly, a five-year-old kindergarten student, approached his mother after school one day and related the following story: "Today in school I saw a man-eating lion! Then I saw a man-eating tiger! Then I saw a man-eating panther!" "That’s nice," his mother replied, only half listening to him. William continued; "And then I saw a man-eating camel and a man-eating zebra, and a man-eating sheep!" This caught his mother’s attention. "Did your class go to the zoo today? I sent no permission slip; or is your wild imagination exposing itself again --- because there are no camels, zebras, or sheep that eat people," his mother replied. "Honest, mom! I really did see everything I just told you!" Indeed, young William had seen everything he had reported to his mother. How could it be possible for William to have actually seen all he claimed to see?
Answer: Little William’s kindergarten teacher was a man who enjoyed having fun with his students. At lunchtime that day, he took out a box of animal crackers, and holding up one animal at a time he would announce to the class, “You are now seeing a man eating lion, or a man eating sheep,” etc., and then proceed to eat each cracker, much to the children’s amusement. Little William was just reporting what he had seen his teacher doing and saying that day.
